Fem-anger unfold-002
Now a days we can come across the matter of fact that women in present times are loathing marriages in their life, and I’m purposed to talk about why women are loathing marriages and the author needs to justify it after all. Here are the top 7 reasons and fair justification for the grounds.
1.Respect
First of all, In Indian culture a marriage must be arranged. And here is the problem lies. It is an arranged marriage everything in her life is arranged and so the respect for herself is also arranged. A woman can believe that her respect will be pulled down by her husband after joining into their family. Since the arranged thing will often be arbitrary in all the cases even if she changes her life routine for them. Because she is not there to join your family. Instead she is there to love and to be loved by her partner.
2.Dreams and goals
Women believe that they will not able to continue or fulfil their dreams and goals in their so-called married life. It is because, in arranged marriage, only a woman have to follow her husband’s dreams by forgetting about her dreams. Only 1/100 of the women can achieve hers. Because no man is seriously ready to fulfil their partner’s dream. They just expect a good mom to their kids. In fact, the society makes them to settle with what they have with their husband.
3.Family and friends
Disconnection from her family and friends for the sake of her husband is a hidden pain which is unbearable. The people who are attending the wedding ceremony would never know the deep pain of the bride out there. She could yell in her mind but smiling happily outside. People know it as an arranged marriage but how many of them know it is an arranged smile? Why should women only leave their houses and get a new family? Can anyone say the proper reason for that happening? Why can men leave their houses and begin a new family with her separately? Why is it not very common so far? But it is happening out of love in some cases. I should agree it also.
4.Time
When a woman all sets her mind with her own family’s customs and needs, she start concentrating on her goals. But at that crunch, the society will give her another new family and expects her to adopt the customs and needs of her new family. Then,where is her time for herself lies in a married life? She found self-caring of a married women are getting limited or nullified slowly after marriage. When she let loose herself, she will be detached from love, kindness, trust, spirituality permanently. So, a real woman doesn’t choose to loosen herself on the first thought.
5.Lifestyle
While a woman needs to live her life, she is living her husband’s life, her children’s life and for the family but not for herself. Desertion of a dreamt lifestyle is the biggest disappointment for a woman that an arranged marriage can give. Moreover, it isn’t wrong either if a woman chooses single-hood, devotion towards career or passion and bank balance as her life partner.
6.Proving
Proving others is the major problem that a woman can forced into. In the married life she has to prove others by being over religious, being cultured, being calm and quiet, doing all the household works, giving birth to a child, obeying her husband. This is the matter of subject that I can get frustrated with. From every conservative to modern families, marriage and motherhood are considered as the dream trophies that a woman must achieve in her life. fundamentally, achieving a trophy requires perseverance. If those are considered as trophies, a male should have patience to wait until she wishes for a child and adopting the house hold works. Here I could yell that, are the males waiting so? Instead they are expecting women to obey and being that perfect for their family.
7.Profession
Afresh both the conservative family and the modern families are afraid of the working woman. It can be not directly manifested but indirectly they are saying a big no to the working woman in this judgemental society even now days. It can be related to the any of the women here, that they are afraid if a woman is working, self-employed and being independent, it would induce status issues in the family. This is more annoying that by admitting the “child birth and the family responsibilities” as the reason to discourage her plans in life.
8.To the readers:
Here I should ask…what if a woman doesn’t want to get married at all first. If marriage is all about casting around for guardianship, then it will make no sense to a real woman. She can earn a stable and secured life on her own.
I just need to spew this poison out of my heart. Arranged marriage is similar to a business deal. I hate all those men with pasted smiles I met. When she is not living her own life, then definitely the arranged marriage will suck in all the ways.
Worst of all the patriarchy is STILL ALIVE, but in a different design.
-Writer.Jerl.
(Contents are Authoress’ own)