“NOT ALL MEN” Is Really Unemphatic

Fem-anger Unfold-015

Introduction

The saying “not all men” that has been in use as a general defense of men and defence for men. It was used as catchwords by men in response to which they saw as charging all men as offenders. #notallmen began trending on twitter in 2017. This sketched an angry reaction from women, with many feminists and women were strongly censuring the hashtag though responding with their own hashtag #yesallwomen.

“NOT ALL MEN” Is Unemphatic

In this patriarchal society, we all know which gender has to suffer a lot and has to fight forward a lot to survive in the society, so everyone should be insightful towards the issues that women face rather than argue against them. “Not all men” is a triggering statement that men use in order to insult women’s problem but truly they are showing up their own dominating faces there. These are not comforting words to hear. Seriously “not all men” is a response to something that specifically isn’t talking about all them.

The Escapism

Men should stop humiliating their selves by saying “not all men” because they are humiliating and making us feel more uncomfortable for the group’s actions towards women. In India, if a problem rise for an individual woman, we all as the women group will come together by filling water to rise up the balloon. But men are not doing it when a problem rose for them. This is because they are guilt of their group’s actions towards women. It is their conscience makes men to say “not all men” tag as the response.

#Notallmen we have #Enoughmen

“Not all men” deviates to the focus from abuse to you defending yourself, and it is unempathetic to use it in response to an account of sexual violence. Unfortunately in this society, even if #notallmen but we have #enoughmen. But what if it’s in my nature to simply not put up with the issues and leave instead. How many persons you know good to tell “Not all men”. You are not specific but then women will be specific in all the issues. So it is obviously escapism.

Actual Bully Statement

I know the bullies are watching us. Men should remember that saying #notallmen really harms them. It is always easier to defend than to listen, acknowledge and take responsibility for the abuse influenced by members of a privileged group, without having it trigger individual male ego. Imagine that male privilege group experience the same abuse and mental trauma, is it okay to let any woman say “not all women” in response to your issues? This is insane. In fact, males never express those outside only because they are males.

Why do men think feminists hate men?

I don’t know, how the term feminism disadvantaging them. Why can’t they say #notme at least?  They always use “Not all men “. This is a serious issue to be handled in a right way. When they say “not all men “, I ask them to first try marrying a woman you love regardless of her caste without taking dowry. Then talk dominant mindset. When their mother will hit them with slipper then all their masculinity will be lost. Even if we try to accept that for argument’s sake, when we are in public places, it becomes very unacceptable, problematic thought in our heads. Why do they think feminists hate men?

The Privilege group

The male privilege allows male to walk freely at any time, use public spaces, express opinions and exercise agency without the fear of violence or threat. Not all men rape, yet women worry about their safety when they step out in the dark. Yes, we know the thing that not every single man is accountable. Yes, we know that you would never do that. And you have reminded us enough, thanks. So #notallmen doesn’t clarify anything. This is why I believe that arguments without a proper understanding of movements such as feminism and casteism could only lead to an attack of which social media is a convenient hotbed.

Patriarchy

Men scream “not all men” tag, because, the patriarchy would not survive, when they ignore these silly actions and words. They don’t want the patriarchy to end. The people who are not being the source of the issues are still enjoying the privilege and the benefits created by the rapists, perpetrators and by the problematic male. That privilege is bodied in the name of patriarchy. They are actually raising a problem by saying “not all men”, because they know how to escape but they don’t know to resolve or give comfort for somebody for the particular issue.

I feel those “not all men” taggers are like a coward because they need to escape the situation and guilt of that patriarchal society. There are so many problems already which is made by the so called patriarchy. And which is originally created by males, for males, and to females.

Men’s Fear of Guilt

Say the truth that, Are you treating your family’s women in a non-patriarchal way? Are there 0 judging resources you got? Are you ok leaving your own girl child alone to a man (that “not all men” saying man) for the whole day? Are you ready to trust your brother or father when it comes to your wife? When you search for a groom for your daughter are you feel free to let her to their house with full satisfaction even after the good investigation among their neighbors? Why is this feeling occurring? It is why because, you people are not more confident about the male privileged group. It will never be going to be end.

I can say that this guilt actually fuels the fire for men to say “not all men”. Even in friendships? NO. Right? Then why you play “not all men” card to a women’s problem? It is only because the women are not belonging to your family? Are you ready to teach your own girl child that so called tag “not all men” for her future? This will never be possible in any home in 2024. You people will only teach her to “stay safe, all men are same only”. It will understand by you only when you got a responsibility to raise a girl child in this patriarchal society.

If you think that the problems of women like sexual abuse, marital rape and mental traumas by males are not a big deal, I suggest you to go and count the women in your own family, take a seat and ask them about their experience of any problems over here. Then you will be definitely eaten up there.

Conclusion

There are more males hide under this “not all men “defence and are not willing to change from their mindset to come out of the patriarchy. This is more heartbreaking for me to say. The taggers want to continue the endless fight and defend themselves at the cost of humiliating female problems and feminism. The feminists will be able to address these problematic male only when there is acceptance about it from them. Every man’s willingness to reverse it individually as well as systemically will help the movement a lot to dismantle the patriarchy. They need to be mature enough not to say and hide under the defence “not all men “.

-Writer.jerl.

Contents are Authoress’ own