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Introduction
The hope of marriage brings with it a good deal of fear. It is because grips many rough choices that can affect our career life resourcefully and also about the Indian family reminder for a woman. The traditional Indian men tend to be possessive because of which most girls equate marriage with a loss of total independence. A woman can have an ambitious career aspiration. However she is expected to lead a better family life and have kids rather than attaining her career aspiration.
Successful career/ family expectations
It is not the end of career but it is greatly affected in some ways. Everyone wants an educated woman with a career but the expectations of the family and social way of life still remain deep-seated in the tradition. In India, she is likely to look after her in-law, her children and her partner. The only person who would help her is herself. This ultimately affects her career and passion in other ways.
Especially those dominating in-laws, who have done a immense deed by raising a son by teaching him how not to do domestic works as that will make him less of a man. And that son will be finding a wife who earns, so that she can share his financial stress and increases the spending desire of the entire people in the family. This affects her career as well. Women with a passion and career are expected to be superwomen in her life by having all the responsibilities.
Indian family reminder for a woman
It has become a situation that after marriage, woman need to get permission from her husband and mother in law to meet her own family (Father, Mother and sister, brother) and stay at their place. Cook that dish for your husband, prepare this for your husband during the weekend, allows your husband to take rest during the weekend, do proper work and get a good name.
A woman has to listen to all these reminders every day in her life. After marriage she doesn’t have time to even think about herself. Indian parents expects to follow a process called , after getting married the couple need to have babies and then they have to raise and educating them, take care of their needs and save money for their weddings, and so on. What if she doesn’t want babies? It’s her choice, of course, it is their choice, but dealing with the relatives who are scandalised by their decision is not an easy thing obviously. Ultimately, their expectation is she has to give up what she is in order to become a “What they like”.
Women are situational captives
Literally most of the woman’s life changes severely after marriage. It’s not always in a good way. With typical Indian society so many things affect girls after marriage. A woman will always imagine her married life and like every other girl waited for their dream boy. Everything will be perfect before marriages. Then the things will start changing drastically for a woman after marriage. It is considered by her changing of location from the mother’s home to the in-law’s home. Due to the marriage her work location can change. She will definitely have problem waking up early cooking. Even though both the partners go to bed at the same time, the partner wakes up late.
Physical and Emotional Challenges
This judgmental society doesn’t allow a man to cook for their own food too. They see it as a shame for the mankind. They only expect a woman to serve him food. As soon as everyman reaches home, he sits on sofa watching TV after the work where she has to prepare for dinner to serve him. Slowly everything will become a woman’s responsibility there in a marriage, including the physical challenges and emotional challenges. A man can make a woman feel less loved at this point.
A woman’s daily energy will be drained both physically and mentally. Even though women sacrifice more for the family, they will quote a woman as “Not suitable for wife and raising kids”. She will realise one day that he is not the shoulder to cry on. She will start crying in silence and hiding her tears from him. Then will be frustrated, not sure where her life is going? Then she will lose her interest and focus in the office work. At last, she will throw away her heartburn like “I don’t need the work, and I don’t need to study after here, it’s over”. This is how a woman’s life will change as a girl after marriage.
The Quest for woman’s marriage and her career
Many girls in our society who killed her passion /Career by herself after seeing deep-seated gender favoritism in her family, Where only male children are privilege of captivating good education, wearing good cloth, eating good food.
There are still more than big bunches of family in the society who only celebrates the birth of boy child and deem it as a lucky thing where in other hand girl child considered to be a burden. Still there are so many gynecologists in our country who does Sex selection test secretly by taking hefty amount and when it appear that there is female child in fetus then what happens after that we all know.
Many of our parents think that saving money for dowry is good thing instead of educating their own child and fulfilling her dream. Many parents don’t ask their girl for her choice about husband, her Like/Dislike and that poor soul along with her mother maintain servile attitude and never gather courage to confront her supercilious male centric father.
Conclusion
We have an identity that we don’t really want to change. But the deciding aspect should be what the woman needs, not what the rest of us choose what she needs. Now days the world is changing and it’s fundamental. But still we have to empower ourselves especially who are living in rural background areas, they don’t know about their rights, policy etc. We all need to contribute at our level best to eliminate such discrimination from our society.
-writer.jerl.
-(Contents are authoress’ own.)